Happy Thursday. I just need to get something out of the way AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Wow that felt good. Even typing a scream relieves some of my frustration. For those of you who don't know what the hell I'm talking about - I was signed off work for 5 days on complete silence without being able to speak a word to anyone as I had an infection on my throat and in order to make sure the medication has the chance to work on a relaxed voice and throat I have had to keep shtum! Not a peep! It is so much harder than I ever imagined.
Basically I saw an ENT (Ear, Nose & Throat specialist) on Monday as I was having trouble speaking as I normally would, it was sounding weaker than usual. We assumed it was because of how vocally demanding and exhausting Ghost is for me to perform so checked it out, but he actually put a camera down my throat and I saw for myself that it was an infection that had not cleared since having my chest infection in November and it was still in my throat which, combined with the work load I'd undertaken, simply was not going to shift without letting myself be quiet and rest! - He did actually say it was a fungal infection in my throat but I don't like to call it that cos I just think fungal means mould - picture me being a bit mouldy, like my adams apple has gone off like a proper apple would when left at the bottom of the fruit bowl - green/brown and furry
So clearly my week has been a little testy since the last time I wrote. Friday I had a day of complete quiet to let my voice recover from the double show day the day before and then went to have a massage to relieve any stress that had built up around my neck and then I headed to work. I do love performing that show. Playing Sam is brilliant. It's such an action packed role that I genuinely feel like I'm acting in a film or in an episode of '24' or something (which believe me I've seen a lot of recently!) Just call me Jack Bauer! For those of you who ain't seen 24, just watch it. It's like a feature length film every episode. I bought the full box set which contains all 8 seasons! AMAZING!
On Friday I started reading a book I now believe everyone should read. It's called 'The Right To Speak' and it's written by a renowned voice coach named Patsy Rodenburg. You don't need to be a performer or actor to benefit from it or be educated by it, in fact it is very much written to target everyone and to appeal to everyone. It's basically just a very interesting read about how our voices reveal so much bout us as people and can hold so much of our past and how various things can make you manipulate your voice and change it unknowingly, for example from the moment we are babies and start making sounds like mama and dada we are very quickly encouraged to turn those sounds into Mummy and Daddy and from that moment on our voices are forever evolving and this book basically fills you with confidence and reassures you and educates you in the knowledge that you should feel free to have your own voice and speak as you so desire. It's actually very liberating and as someone who uses his voice professionally to earn a living I have learnt a lot. I can highly recommend it to you all no matter who you are, where you're from or what you do!
I woke on Saturday morning and my voice was trying to say to my head, I don't know if i can perform two today, but my head was saying, you bloody well will and you'll just get on with it! (My head can be very authoritative when it needs to be) I enjoyed the two shows and by the end of the night I was actually really up for going out and partying - which very rarely happens for me, and to be honest, it frustratingly only ever happens at the least convenient time. It's like my brain goes "ok Evans, I'm gonna test your will power and put you in the mood to P.A.R.T.Y!!!" I was a good boy and left the West End of London and its electric buzzing Saturday night atmosphere and had myself some sushi, mini eggs and a good night's sleep! ROCK AND ROLL!!!!!!
Sunday I yet again had a chill out day of food, reading, sleeping and about 6 episodes of 24. It doesn't help me relax though cos it has you tense as you watch it all the time! Great TV.
So you all know what the deal was on Monday, I was slightly anxious about seeing the ENT incase he told me I should never sing EVER again and that I should forget about all the work I've done on my career so far because I would be far better off going to work in a library where the only thing I would have to use my voice for would be to make the annoying "shhhhhh" sound (which frustrates the hell out of me because it quite often is louder than all the people who are talking put together and very rude in my opinion) - I digress - and am being very overly dramatic for comic effect - god i'm funny!!! - I really wasn't that worried about the ENT appointment, more intrigued than anything.
He gave me my pills and diagnosis and his advice and then I headed to treat myself to a chai tea latte in Starbucks (love them - I'm addicted) but it was only when I got to the counter and the pretty girl with the beautiful smile asked for my order and I thought 'oh god I can't talk!' - so I ended up grabbing a napkin and her biro and wrote my order to her and from that moment on I thought, I've gotta see this week as a challenge else I'll get really bored of it and just give in and end up chatting just to be a rebel!
I have discovered something this week - I must talk to myself a lot! I wasn't aware of this before. I was boiling the kettle in my flat one afternoon and all of a sudden I had to stop myself from talking. Then I thought, "Mark, who are you talking to?" and I worked out that I was about to just start talking out loud about nonsense ie "I'm boiling the kettle and I'm making a cup of tea, should I have green tea or should it be a normal brew" - and what's even more weird is that I think it probably would've come out in an australian accent! I'm a freak, go on say it, I'm a freak!
I'm sure all of the above stems from me being a little too keen with acting training and using every possible opportunity to practise my tools so whenever I would walk alone I would decide which accent to do and start talking out loud to myself (providing there were no passers-by) about what I was seeing so I could practise. For example -
Oy'm wawkin dehn the street an oy fink the red car to moy royt is really noyce, oy loyke the personoloysed namba playt!!! - which was obviously cockney! hahaha
Anyway, I'm talking utter nonsense this week - clearly my frustration from not talking.
Went to the cinema a couple of times this week, cos you can do that quietly! I saw Iron Lady which is incredible, Meryl Streep is just a legendary actress and I find her fascinating. She's so versatile in her career and every role she takes on is so different and in my opinion, portrayed with utter perfection! I would like to have just an ounce of her talent!Amazing!
I also saw War Horse which too was a very good film. It was shot beautifully and acted very well and all the action they got from the horses was very impressive - nothing bad to say about it but I will say that I still prefer the stage production by the National Theatre which is currently playing at the New London Theatre - if you haven't see it, just trust me and go. It's not like any other theatre around, so clever and has real heart!!!
I'm off to watch The Artist this evening - figured I'd go and watch a silent movie cos I can relate to the characters a lot after this week. :-)
I'm gonna stop rambling now and get this blog posted. I hope you all have a wonderful week. I shall inform you next Thursday of how it feels to speak again. I tell you this, I always try and see the positive in things and these few days have made me appreciate how powerful speech and language is. I'm rubbish at mouthing without making sounds and am very grateful that I was blessed with a healthy set of chords (apart from the last week!) that I can use to communicate at my leisure.
Until the next one folks, love your lives and love your voices!
Believe (might get a tattoo of that word soon - just saying!)